1
00:00:16,180 --> 00:00:21,880
Class, I'm extremely happy to announce
that today is Highland High's Career

2
00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:25,900
Now, this is a wonderful opportunity for
you guys.

3
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:30,319
This will give you a chance to interface
with working professionals and learn

4
00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:33,080
about their exciting and rewarding job
field.

5
00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:34,430
Uh,

6
00:00:34,940 --> 00:00:37,420
is this, like, going to be on a test or
something?

7
00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:42,499
This is a life test, butthead. And
please raise your hand if you have a

8
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:47,779
question. And as an incentive, everyone
will be excused from one day of school

9
00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:50,420
in order to observe their vocation of
choice.

10
00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,320
Cool. Yeah.

11
00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:57,000
Vacations kick ass. They kick ass. Yeah.
Kick ass. Yeah.

12
00:00:58,860 --> 00:01:01,240
Check this out, buddy.

13
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:05,770
You could be saving money on long
-distance calls to family and friends.

14
00:01:06,460 --> 00:01:10,460
Yeah. They keep talking about big
savings, but I just don't see it.

15
00:01:15,020 --> 00:01:17,200
Oh, no.

16
00:01:18,820 --> 00:01:20,000
Oh, boy.

17
00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:21,700
How did this ever happen?

18
00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:22,970
Yeah, really.

19
00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:25,940
This is like just a bunch of bungholes.

20
00:01:25,941 --> 00:01:29,459
Yeah, because, whoa, that's that Brenda
bitch from Beverly Hills,

21
00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:34,020
902355781234567898265. 210.

22
00:01:35,540 --> 00:01:38,070
Leave us next time you're talking about
that show.

23
00:01:38,180 --> 00:01:41,190
Just say Beverly Hills and forget about
the numbers, okay?

24
00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:42,410
Oh, okay.

25
00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:49,200
But, like, why the hell is she hanging
out with these wussies?

26
00:01:49,201 --> 00:01:53,299
Yeah, I thought that, like, if you're a
bitch, that you'd, like, be into, like,

27
00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:54,539
something more hardcore.

28
00:01:54,540 --> 00:01:59,880
I think sometimes if you're a bitch,
it's like you listen to crap like this.

29
00:01:59,881 --> 00:02:03,899
Yeah, maybe it's like she doesn't even
like it, but she just, like, plays this

30
00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:06,490
stuff just to piss people off because
she's a bitch.

31
00:02:06,820 --> 00:02:07,870
Yeah.

32
00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:09,830
Bitches are cool.

33
00:02:11,580 --> 00:02:12,630
Bitches are cool.

34
00:02:18,990 --> 00:02:20,430
Hey, this guy looks familiar.

35
00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:24,749
Well, that's that guy. Remember when we
saw those naked movies that your uncle

36
00:02:24,750 --> 00:02:27,220
saw? That's the guy that was in them,
right there.

37
00:02:27,450 --> 00:02:29,630
How do you know, Beavis?

38
00:02:29,631 --> 00:02:32,549
I recognize him. That's him. That's the
guy that was in those naked movies,

39
00:02:32,550 --> 00:02:35,269
remember? And like, he had a schlong and
he was like, you know, like doing

40
00:02:35,270 --> 00:02:39,989
the... You were looking at that guy's
face when there was all that porn action

41
00:02:39,990 --> 00:02:41,040
going on?

42
00:02:41,110 --> 00:02:44,210
Well, you were probably looking at a
wiener, dumbass.

43
00:02:45,890 --> 00:02:46,940
No, I wasn't.

44
00:02:47,170 --> 00:02:49,420
I was looking like... Around his wiener.

45
00:02:50,591 --> 00:02:55,659
So, like, I guess he's, like, in a band
or something?

46
00:02:55,660 --> 00:02:59,510
No. This band probably just, like, keeps
him around because he can get chicks.

47
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,250
Yeah.

48
00:03:01,251 --> 00:03:04,419
How come that guy gets to be in naked
movies?

49
00:03:04,420 --> 00:03:06,940
He's just, like, a big, fat, ugly slob.

50
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:08,570
Yeah.

51
00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:14,060
Well, you're almost there, Beavis. All
you need to do is just, like, get fat.

52
00:03:14,740 --> 00:03:17,360
Really? How do I get big and fat?

53
00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:20,020
Uh, I don't know.

54
00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:26,020
I'm getting sick and tired of dudes who
sing like this.

55
00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:30,579
Yeah, it's like, it's like, almost every
damn video you see has, like, some guy

56
00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:31,800
singing like this. Yeah.

57
00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:36,180
It's like he's trying to be alternative.

58
00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,930
Yeah, yeah, yeah, something like that,
yeah. And it sucks.

59
00:03:46,420 --> 00:03:48,300
Flea markets are... Cool.

60
00:03:49,060 --> 00:03:51,290
Say, boys, interested in the printed
page?

61
00:03:51,780 --> 00:03:54,440
Uh, you got anything with naked chicks?

62
00:03:54,441 --> 00:03:55,699
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

63
00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:56,750
With big hooters.

64
00:03:57,260 --> 00:04:03,299
Uh, no. We do mostly educational and
technical manuals. Who's gonna buy that

65
00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:04,920
crap? Yeah, really.

66
00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:09,970
Beavis, Butthead, you're supposed to be
exploring career opportunities.

67
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,660
These jobs are stupid.

68
00:04:12,060 --> 00:04:15,020
Yeah. Everyone, like, works in a booth.

69
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:19,259
These people don't work in booths.
They're here to answer questions and

70
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:20,310
plan your future.

71
00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,400
Your life after graduation?

72
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:30,779
Well, if you guys don't pick a career,
Van Driesen won't let you skip a day of

73
00:04:30,780 --> 00:04:31,830
school next week.

74
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:34,200
Uh, skip school?

75
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,250
Uh,

76
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,020
we, like, need a career or something.

77
00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:46,300
Help us get out of school.

78
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:49,890
You fellas think you've got what it
takes for security work?

79
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:51,580
Do we get to kick some ass?

80
00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:54,580
Yeah. Do we get taters and tear gas?

81
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:56,290
Hell no.

82
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:57,900
I work at the mall.

83
00:04:58,260 --> 00:04:59,310
Video surveillance.

84
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,010
Basically, they pay me to watch TV all
day.

85
00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:03,330
Whoa.

86
00:05:03,740 --> 00:05:05,020
Cool. Yeah, yeah.

87
00:05:05,220 --> 00:05:06,680
Hey, buddy. We can do that.

88
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:08,970
Yeah.

89
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:11,660
This is gonna be cool.

90
00:05:14,190 --> 00:05:17,770
Okay, fellas, very simple. All you have
to do is watch these screens.

91
00:05:18,150 --> 00:05:20,890
Cool. Hey, where's the remote?

92
00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:22,240
Hey, millow out!

93
00:05:23,210 --> 00:05:26,870
If you spot any unusual activity, you
come and get me immediately.

94
00:05:27,250 --> 00:05:28,950
I gotta go secure the food court.

95
00:05:29,290 --> 00:05:30,670
Uh, okay, dude.

96
00:05:31,350 --> 00:05:33,250
Yeah, okay, we got it under control.

97
00:05:37,150 --> 00:05:38,810
These shows suck.

98
00:05:39,510 --> 00:05:41,830
Yeah, change it to something cool.

99
00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:43,660
I'm trying.

100
00:05:45,620 --> 00:05:46,900
There's nothing good on.

101
00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:48,420
These channels all suck.

102
00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:49,890
Yeah.

103
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:53,260
Really. Let's go out and bust somebody
or something.

104
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:54,770
Yeah.

105
00:05:54,860 --> 00:05:56,100
Let's secure them all.

106
00:05:59,711 --> 00:06:01,759
Hey, buddy.

107
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,180
People respect the badge.

108
00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:04,730
Yeah.

109
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:08,230
Because it, like, gives us permission to
kick their ass and stuff.

110
00:06:11,750 --> 00:06:13,290
Chicks like a man in a uniform.

111
00:06:13,510 --> 00:06:14,560
Yeah.

112
00:06:15,310 --> 00:06:17,010
Check this out.

113
00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:20,470
Excuse me, ma 'am.

114
00:06:21,490 --> 00:06:23,910
Yes? I'm like security.

115
00:06:24,490 --> 00:06:28,250
I'm like, I'm gonna have to ask you to,
you know, assume the position.

116
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:33,970
Assume. If you lay a hand on me, I'll
sue your ass.

117
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:35,400
Whoa.

118
00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:39,950
Hey, butt -head, let's look for some
crimes or something.

119
00:06:40,540 --> 00:06:41,590
Yeah.

120
00:06:44,180 --> 00:06:46,820
Uh, excuse me, sir, did you pay for
that?

121
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,090
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

122
00:06:48,180 --> 00:06:51,610
If you just cooperate, it'll make it a
lot easier on both of us, okay?

123
00:06:52,420 --> 00:06:53,470
Uh,

124
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,280
excuse me, ma 'am.

125
00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:56,610
Who, me?

126
00:06:56,611 --> 00:06:59,099
Could you step over here for a minute,
please?

127
00:06:59,100 --> 00:06:59,839
Yeah, yeah.

128
00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:02,079
Yeah, we'd just like to talk to you for
a minute, please. Could you step over

129
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:03,130
here?

130
00:07:03,460 --> 00:07:04,880
This is gonna be cool.

131
00:07:08,731 --> 00:07:15,579
Whoa, check it out, butthead. It's an
outie. That's not an outie, Beavis.

132
00:07:15,580 --> 00:07:17,440
There's two of them. See at the nipples.

133
00:07:17,441 --> 00:07:19,799
Those aren't nipples, butthead. Look how
low they are.

134
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:23,290
No way, Beavis. That's just because she
doesn't have any legs or a butt.

135
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,480
Oh, yeah, yeah. Besides, nipples can be
low.

136
00:07:26,740 --> 00:07:27,790
Just look at your mom.

137
00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:30,040
I guess they are nipples.

138
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:33,440
Whoa, check out that black dude.

139
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:34,850
Yeah.

140
00:07:35,380 --> 00:07:36,780
He's going to save the day.

141
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,090
Oh, yeah, yeah.

142
00:07:42,780 --> 00:07:44,460
Check it out. He's shaking his head.

143
00:07:44,540 --> 00:07:46,060
Wake up. Wake up, Ponzi.

144
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:47,850
Yeah.

145
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:49,360
That dude's like Fang.

146
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:52,040
Damn it. Quit messing with my head and
go get my leg.

147
00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:55,930
Yeah.

148
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:04,700
Check it out, buddy.

149
00:08:04,790 --> 00:08:05,840
A flot.

150
00:08:06,670 --> 00:08:07,720
Yeah.

151
00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:10,550
Your mother's a flot.

152
00:08:11,670 --> 00:08:12,720
I'm not a mother.

153
00:08:12,870 --> 00:08:13,920
That's a bee.

154
00:08:14,170 --> 00:08:15,850
Well, that dude's got a pet bee.

155
00:08:17,650 --> 00:08:18,910
That's pretty cool, yeah.

156
00:08:19,470 --> 00:08:22,490
I had a bee that I teached it to go
sting people.

157
00:08:24,210 --> 00:08:26,380
Take him, boy. Take him. Take him in the
bus. Go.

158
00:08:27,570 --> 00:08:28,620
Yeah.

159
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,770
Okay, good night, little dude. See you
tomorrow.

160
00:08:37,940 --> 00:08:40,900
Oh, what the hell are those punks doing?

161
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,380
Uh, did you pay for that, ma 'am?

162
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,860
Yeah. Can I see your receipt, please?

163
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:48,740
Yeah, can I see your slip?

164
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:50,550
Excuse me?

165
00:08:50,860 --> 00:08:53,640
Uh, can we, like, frisk you?

166
00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:56,320
Yeah, yeah, me too. I don't think so.

167
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,320
What are you doing away from your post?

168
00:08:59,860 --> 00:09:01,100
Let me handle this.

169
00:09:01,770 --> 00:09:04,010
Did you, uh, purchase that, ma 'am?

170
00:09:04,350 --> 00:09:05,410
Yes, I did.

171
00:09:05,411 --> 00:09:08,789
I apologize, ma 'am. I'm going to have
to ask you to assume the position.

172
00:09:08,790 --> 00:09:10,470
It looks like a full cavity search.

173
00:09:12,410 --> 00:09:15,769
White trash, rent -a -cop, piece of...

174
00:09:15,770 --> 00:09:23,489
You're

175
00:09:23,490 --> 00:09:24,540
pretty cool.

176
00:09:29,281 --> 00:09:35,809
Is this one of those sneaker ads where,
like, those basketball players sit

177
00:09:35,810 --> 00:09:37,010
around in a barbershop?

178
00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:38,300
Uh, yeah.

179
00:09:38,530 --> 00:09:40,770
Only it's, like, a bunch of white guys.

180
00:09:41,750 --> 00:09:43,170
And white music.

181
00:09:44,370 --> 00:09:46,690
Yeah. It's butt -white music.

182
00:09:47,371 --> 00:09:50,569
Hey, where'd that cat come from?

183
00:09:50,570 --> 00:09:53,130
Uh, I think it came out of the nose.

184
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:54,560
Oh, man.

185
00:09:54,870 --> 00:09:56,310
Is that supposed to be funny?

186
00:09:56,810 --> 00:09:58,850
Uh, it's supposed to be.

187
00:10:00,340 --> 00:10:02,810
It would have been funny if it came out
of his butt.

188
00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:07,299
Why is that? I mean, how come, like, if
it comes out of his nose, it's not that

189
00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:10,119
funny, but, like, if it comes out of his
butt, it's funny?

190
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:10,919
Why is that?

191
00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:13,700
Well, it's because, like, your butt has
a crack in it.

192
00:10:14,980 --> 00:10:16,030
Oh, yeah.

193
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:27,220
What a wuss.

194
00:10:27,221 --> 00:10:33,779
I hate it when you go to the barber, and
it's like, he starts cutting your hair,

195
00:10:33,780 --> 00:10:35,860
and then he goes, so, how's school?

196
00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:37,310
Yeah.

197
00:10:37,660 --> 00:10:39,460
I usually say, it sucks.

198
00:10:39,780 --> 00:10:43,340
Now shut up and cut my hair before I
stick that comb up your butt.

199
00:10:43,341 --> 00:10:47,679
You know, butthead, maybe that's why you
get all those fucky haircuts, you know?

200
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:49,790
Maybe you should try being a little
nicer.

201
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,960
I'm going to shove a comb up your butt.

202
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:54,500
My hair looks cool.

203
00:10:54,550 --> 00:10:59,100
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